Depression and Low Libido: Understanding the Connection
If you’ve noticed changes in your sex drive while living with depression, you are not alone. Many people experience shifts in their sexual desire during seasons of depression, and it can feel confusing, frustrating, or even shameful.
As a sex therapist in Oklahoma, I often hear clients ask: “Why don’t I want sex anymore?” or “Is there something wrong with me?” The answer is no, you are not broken. Depression and libido are deeply connected, and understanding this relationship can help you find compassion for yourself and take the first steps toward healing.
How Depression Affects Libido
Depression impacts your mind, body, and emotions. According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression can affect mood, energy, sleep, and even the ability to feel pleasure, all of which directly influence sexual desire.
It often shows up as:
Low energy and fatigue – making sexual activity feel overwhelming or exhausting.
Loss of pleasure – depression reduces the brain’s ability to experience joy (called anhedonia), which can lower interest in intimacy.
Stress and emotional disconnection – depression often brings feelings of numbness, sadness, or irritability, which affect sexual desire.
Negative body image – when you don’t feel good about yourself, desire can decrease.
Medication side effects – certain antidepressants (especially SSRIs) can lower sex drive or delay orgasm, according to the Mayo Clinic.
The Emotional Side of Depression and Libido
One of the most painful parts of depression-related low libido is the impact on relationships. Partners may feel rejected or confused, and individuals often blame themselves. This cycle can create shame, guilt, and even more distance.
It’s important to remember: low libido during depression is not about not loving your partner or not being attracted to them. It’s a symptom of what your mind and body are going through.
Steps to Support Libido While Living With Depression
Here are a few ways to begin addressing low desire:
Prioritize rest and recovery – Sleep and self-care are essential foundations for both mental health and sexual health.
Address the depression first – Therapy, medication management, and lifestyle shifts (movement, nutrition, routines) can help ease depressive symptoms, which in turn can improve libido.
Communicate openly with your partner – Let them know what you’re experiencing so they don’t personalize it. Share small ways to stay connected physically (cuddling, hand holding, or non-sexual touch).
Explore non-sexual intimacy – Reduce pressure by focusing on connection, comfort, and closeness rather than performance.
Check in with your doctor – If medication is impacting your sex drive, ask about adjustments or alternatives.
Work with a sex therapist – A sex therapist can help you explore the link between depression and libido, address emotional patterns, and build intimacy in ways that feel safe and authentic.
Hope and Healing
Living with depression can feel heavy, and adding low libido into the mix may feel discouraging. But remember: sexual desire is not gone forever. It can be rebuilt, gently, step by step, as your mental health improves and as you create new ways to connect with yourself and your partner.
If you’re in Oklahoma and looking for support, I specialize in sex therapy, low libido counseling, and intimacy concerns related to depression. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Contact me if you have additional questions.
You are not broken. Desire is still possible for you.