Low Libido in Women: Understanding and Reclaiming Desire
If your sex drive has gone missing, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Many women experience low libido at different points in life. Sometimes it’s a short season, and other times it lingers, leaving you frustrated, disconnected, and wondering what happened. As a Certified Sex Therapist in Oklahoma, I help women untangle these changes and discover what desire can look like for them now.
Low libido, also called low sexual desire or reduced sex drive, is not just about “being in the mood.” Sexual desire is influenced by your body, your emotions, your relationships, and even the messages you’ve absorbed about sex over the years. When any of these layers shift, desire can too.
Medical & Physical Health
Hormonal changes during perimenopause, postpartum recovery, thyroid imbalances, or conditions like PCOS can impact libido. Medications such as antidepressants, hormonal birth control, or blood pressure treatments may also play a role. Fatigue, chronic pain, and illness can make it harder to feel sexually engaged. Addressing these with your healthcare provider is an important first step.
Mental Health & Stress
Stress is one of the biggest libido-killers. The mental load of work, parenting, and caregiving can leave little room for pleasure. Anxiety, depression, and trauma history, sexual or otherwise, can also affect how safe and connected you feel in intimate moments.
Relationship Dynamics
Sexual desire doesn’t live in a vacuum; it thrives in relationships where there’s emotional connection, respect, and playfulness. If there’s ongoing resentment, poor communication, or an unequal division of emotional and household labor, desire often takes a back seat.
Sexual Self-Awareness
Many women experience responsive desire, where arousal comes after sexual touch begins, not before. If you’ve been waiting to “feel in the mood” before initiating intimacy, you might be missing out on how your body actually works. Exploring erotic preferences, fantasies, and body confidence can reignite connection.
Why Therapy Helps
Talking about sex can feel vulnerable, especially if you’ve been feeling pressure, shame, or self-blame. Therapy offers a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore the emotional, relational, and physical layers of low libido. Together, we can help you:
Understand your unique arousal patterns
Address emotional and relationship stressors
Improve communication with your partner
Find resources that support pleasure and connection
Process your trauma, and how it impacts your desire
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Your Path Back to Desire
Rebuilding desire isn’t about forcing yourself into more sex, it’s about creating the conditions where intimacy feels good again. That might mean better rest, emotional repair, medical support, or rediscovering what turns you on.
If you’re in Oklahoma and want to explore your low libido in a safe, supportive space, I can help you find clarity and confidence in your sexual self. Schedule your consultation here.