The Constant Grief of Parenting (and Life) No One Talks About
Parenting is a paradox. It’s full of love, joy, and meaning, and yet, it’s also full of stress, mixed emotions, and a quiet grief that never fully leaves.
Grief as a Constant
We tend to think of grief only in terms of death. But grief is much broader, it’s the emotional process of losing anything important to us. And in parenting, grief is a constant companion:
The grief of saying goodbye to each stage of your child’s life.
The grief of losing versions of yourself that no longer exist.
The grief of watching friendships or relationships shift as your roles change.
The grief of your body transforming in ways you didn’t expect.
These losses don’t mean life isn’t good. They mean life is always changing, and we’re learning to love, let go, and begin again.
The Both/And
Our culture doesn’t recognize this kind of grief very well. We’re taught to celebrate milestones without naming the loss underneath. But the truth is, parenting and life, is always both/and. Pride and sadness. Joy and grief. Connection and disconnection.
“We Can Have Everything, Just Not All at Once.”
This phrase captures it perfectly. We don’t lose everything forever, we just can’t hold every version of ourselves, our bodies, our relationships, or our children at the same time. Each season has beauty. Each season has loss.
A Way Forward
Name It: Say out loud, “This is grief.” Naming it softens its hold.
Honor the Shifts: Hold space for gratitude and sadness in equal measure.
Stay Connected: Share your truth with others. It helps normalize that grief is a part of growth.
Parenting and life itself isn’t about avoiding grief. It’s about weaving grief into love, so both can coexist.
Feel free to reach out, if you’re in a season of needing additional guidance and support.