How to Do the Work Yourself When Therapy Isn’t an Option: Somatic Tools, Trauma, and Sex Education

Life is messy. Therapy is valuable, but it’s not always accessible, whether financially, logistically, or emotionally. If you’re ready to do the work on your own, here’s a roadmap to start healing, learning, and connecting with yourself.

1. Start With Your Body: Somatic Practices

Healing isn’t only cognitive; it’s felt in the body. Somatic work helps regulate your nervous system and release stored tension. Some beginner-friendly practices:

• Body Scans: Lie down and slowly notice sensations from head to toe.

• Grounding Exercises: Feel your feet on the floor, sway, or gently bounce to release energy.

• Breathwork: Try box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4). Insight Timer, offering several free practices, is a great resource for mindfulness and breath work.

• Movement Therapy: Gentle yoga or stretching, walking, or dancing freely.

These practices help calm the nervous system, which is crucial if you’re working through trauma or anxiety alone.

2. Learn Through Books

Books can be great for building more self awareness. Here are some starting points:

Attachment & Relationships:

• Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

• Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

Trauma & Healing:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

• Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

• It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

Sex & Sexuality:

• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

• Sexual Intelligence by Marty Klein

Pick one book per area to start. To avoid overwhelming yourself.

3. Reflection & Journaling

• Track emotional patterns and triggers.

• Write with curiosity, not judgment.

• Use prompts:

  • “When do I feel safest in my body?”

  • “What emotions am I avoiding?”

  • “What am I curious about regarding my sexual self?”

4. Online Resources & Communities

• Free or low-cost online workshops, podcasts, and guided meditations (Insight Timer) can supplement your learning.

• Kristen Neff offers great resources on self-compassion

• Look for trauma-informed, sex-positive, and attachment-aware creators.

5. Small, Consistent Steps

Doing the work yourself isn’t about perfection; it’s about regular, intentional practice. Even 10–15 minutes a day of somatic work, journaling, or reading can shift your nervous system and mindset over time.

Takeaway:
Therapy isn’t the only path to growth. By combining somatic practices, targeted reading, and reflective exercises, you can start to understand your patterns, regulate your emotions, and connect more deeply with yourself.

If you have questions, feel free to reach out.